How to be a Calmer Parent?

Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash

Hello Dear Parent,

As you are reading this post, I think you, as most of the other parents, might be facing some challenges in trying to stay calm with your kids and their whining.

Do you find it difficult to hold your anger and get frustrated with your kids very easily? Are you often  yelling at your kids? Do you ever feel like running away when your kids push you to the limits?

If the answer to any/all of the above question is yes, then I have a few tips and tricks for you on how to be a calmer parent and create a better environment for both-yourselves and your kids.

1. Take some time out for yourself every single day

As a parent, we make our lives revolve around our kids, and in the process we lose ourselves. I am not saying that we should love our kids any less, but I am saying that we should not forget to love ourselves – as that is a key to happiness. Every day do at least one activity that you really like away from your kids – be it listening to your favorite song, hearing a Ted Talk or just browsing through your social media feed. But vow today that you will spend some time on yourself.

2. Respond, Do Not React

This is the biggest mistake that we make as a parent. We tend to react to situations without really analyzing them.  Someone has rightly said :

When you react, you are giving away your power. When you respond, you are staying in control of yourself

It seems very difficult, but again, it is not impossible. And once you make it a habit, you can benefit from it in every relationship around you. Whenever you are in a situation where the kids are about to drive you nuts, close your eyes and take a deep cleansing breath and think why are they doing what they are doing and what can you do to make it right? If you take those 10-15 seconds out to think rather than react, you will notice that half of your problem is already solved and you just have to calm your kid now as you have already calmed down. Win-win situation right?

3. Talk to your kids about your feelings

You might be thinking that it is useless to talk about how you feel with your kids – they won’t understand. But let me tell you, you are wrong. Our kids love us as much as we love them, just that our love languages are different. If you feel bad about a behavior of your kid, make sure that you convey it to them in a calm manner and make them understand how much that bad behavior hurts you. Likewise, for all the good actions and behavior they exhibit, appreciate them and let them know how much you like it when they do that. You are bound to reap the benefits not just in the short-term, but also in the long-run.

4. Understand the priorities

You might be overwhelmed when you see that your kids had messed up the whole house/ did not do their homework or anything as such. At that point in time, understand the priority. It won’t really matter if you don’t cook for a day or you go to your bed without properly cleaning the house or if you do not do the dishes. But it would really matter a lot if at that time you understand that none of those are your priorities right now – only the kid is. So, rather than getting angry on them, either involve them with you in the cleaning or you get involved with them/let them be. Just do not lose your self-control.

5. Tell Yourself – This Too Shall Pass

At the end of the day, if none of the above tips work for you, just say to yourselves – This Too Shall Pass and calm yourself down. Trust me, one day, all this would be over and you would cherish all these memories then. Till then, enjoy while it lasts!

 

If you have any such tips and tricks to being a calmer parent, please feel free to drop them in the comments below. We would love to hear it from you!

Happy parenting!

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